Okay, here’s where mom
biped seems to have gone a wee bit overboard with me – fashion. I know there are canine websites where mom
bipeds are making a fortune dressing their pups [not to mention cats (see my
sisters below)] in the frilliest flowerdiest gag-inducing outfits, usually on a
Monday, and almost always with matching hats.
I have developed great compassion
for my sister felines, which doesn’t happen often, but seriously, I feel gut-wrenching
pain on their behalf!
And from what I hear
through the grapevine, none of these loving, yet deranged, bipeds EVER ask our
opinions about whether we fur-slathered darlings actually WANT to wear
clothing! I’m pretty sure that my mom
biped wants to create a reality show around me, or at the very least, to put me
on a Parisian runway. What seems really
oxymoronish is that she removes my natural curly clothing, replaces it with
some multicolored freakish costume, tells me to say “cheeeeeese!” when taking my photo, and then, AND THEN … she insists
she’s gonna take all my curly hair-in-a-pile and knit me a sweater for the winter,
or stuff a dog bed with it! I ask you,
is this the thinking of a normal biped?
Serious, I don’t know,
will somebody please private-message me and give me an ounce of hope that this
is considered normal? I think this is a
fair request, since I know bipeds are constantly asking each other on social
media if their dogs’ behaviors are “normal.”
But I suppose that’s a topic for another Monday.
Watch your backs, fellow
fur-bearers, the bipeds are lurking with scissors and cameras.
Yours ever-so-truly,
Mrs. Minnie-furless
